Title: For Every Reason
Genre: Howl's Moving Castle, book-verse
Rating: PG (Just to be safe)
Summary: Sophie answers a very compelling question: why does she love Howl?
- - - -
Why do I love him so much?
People always ask me that and when I tell them they always say “That’s not a reason!” Well, so what? I don’t care if it is a reason to them or not. It is my reason. I just love him and there is no way to explain it. At times I used to doubt his love for me but never mine for him. I always thought, back when we met, that I was safe from ever falling in love with him behind my old lady exterior… but I couldn’t. It’s like it was predestined to happen the way it did. Like it was written in the stars…
Ha, yes, a star called Calcifer!
If you can’t understand then don’t ask! It’s not my fault that my love isn’t the perfect fairytale that all people imagine marriage should be. Keep your fairytale! There is no way I’ll let children’s stories rule my life.
Howl isn’t exactly a fairytale prince, is he? I mean how many princes run away and leave you to chop the dragon’s head off? Oh, he can be brave if he needs to. He has been brave for my sake many, many times.
Oh, but he is so vain, so selfish sometimes, and I can’t get him to do any of the simple things. I’ll be like, “Howl, put that shelf up!” and he’ll say, “Yes, in a minute!” and then several months later I’ll ask again, and he’ll say “Oh not now, cariad!” and then we argue about it. I’m one of the only people who can make him angry. I’m not nagging I’m just telling him. Every married woman can relate to this, you ask him to do something, and it never happens, so you have to either do it yourself or bring in a handyman to put it up, right?
Well, I got Michael to do it in the end in return for one of my strawberry short cakes. I know how much he, Martha and the children love them, and it was the least I can do. Then, once it’s all done, I draw Howl’s attention to the wall to see if he notices anything different. “What do you see?” ask I, and he looks and looks and says: “Oh, have you cleaned again?”
Typical, the best wizard in the country, maybe even the world, in anyway world, maybe… Yes, defiantly in every world I know of or have seen, and Howl has shown me a lot, he is the best… and he won’t even put up a bloody kitchen shelf. He forces me to ask my busy brother-in-law, who has enough on his plate with six children and another on the way, to put it up.
“You should have asked Ben or something!” he’d say.
“Ben can’t DIY to save his life,” say I, “and I asked you!”
“When did you ever ask me? I don’t remember!”
“Four months ago I asked you!” doesn’t make you want to fume when they do that? “And again last month, and nothing happened. This shelf has been lying there on that floor for months and months, gathering dust. Meanwhile my spices are piled up on top of the fireplace and they keep bothering Calcifer. The other day Morgan came in here and knocked the whole lot over. All over the floor! Calcifer wouldn’t stop sneezing.”
“Only four months?” questioned Howl in his way. “You need to have more faith in me. I normally do these things eventually. Remember your oddments shelf? I put that up.”
“Yes, after eight months. I had the twins in that time frame, Howl!”
“I still put it up, didn’t I?”
Goodness, all men are the same it turns out. Well, he’s not perfect but he’s Howl and I wouldn’t have him any other way. He wouldn’t be the man I fell for if I didn’t have to nag him to do every little thing. I think I’d go mad with a perfect husband. To have a man who did everything when I asked him to, or never disagreed with me, or could walk into a room without making a mess in a swing of a door, would bore me and make me feel out of place, cheap, and a bad person.
With Howl I think that because we are both terribly faulted we feel comfortable with each other. I have never really taken account of his faults and I don’t think he has of mine. Fine, he points out I’m nosey but I have other bad habits too. He never points them out. He never makes me feel bad. In fact, he makes me feel amazingly good with myself. He’s a waste of space sometimes, he’s lazy, messy, vain, selfish… no, no; he is not selfish, not really.
Not many people realise this but Howl is very, very selfless when it comes down to it. He does everything in his power to protect me. When danger, real danger faces us, and there is no escape, he will shield me from the flames. Even if he has to face his greatest fears, face certain death, he will do it for me. I know this because he has done it. They are not the words of a husband that mean nothing. That isn’t Howl’s style. He won’t even kiss me in public. He doesn’t go for all of the poetic talking that turn some women to jelly. He can’t say anything directly. I’m not stupid and I know people lie, and Howl could fib his way out of a room with no doors, and I know some men are pigs but not my Howl.
Some may have that believed Howl to be cowardly and selfish but he just isn’t. I know him better than any of you who might not understand why I stay with him or why he stays with me. I’m the only one who can see just how self-sacrificing and brave he is. Even Howl doesn’t realise it. But he is, he is, he is!
And that’s why, I think, he prefers me to other women, because I see all these things, his faults, and still loves him more than them. Believe me, I knew he was a cad a while before I fell in love with him. He thinks I see things in him that aren’t there. But I see the real Howl. I’m the only one who sees the real Howl.
Okay, he’s a cad but he’s my cad! Dear me, how pathetic was that? I don’t care. We all need some moments of weakness. I’m not blinded by love… Oh, maybe I am. But then, why else do you love someone? Pray tell, why do you love your partner so much? Can you answer that question easily?
Why do I love Howl so much? Because I just do; does everything need a reason?
- - - -
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
forgottensophie where I will put anything else that isn't my musings, like icons and stuff...
blah
sick
worried
okay
satisfied
curious
hyper
content
complacent
confused
annoyed
happy
chipper
tired
contemplative
sad
geeky
nervous