Title: Getting Out
Pairing: Hints of Doctor/Martha
Genre: General/Romance
Rating: PG
Something Martha says to the Doctor really does get to him...
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Something Martha Jones said, one of the last things she said, touched the Doctor in a way that no other companion he had ever had done. When she came bursting back into the TARDIS, jabbering on about Vicki and Shawn—whoever they were; the Doctor thought that this was just her trying to kill extra time and gain a couple more minutes before she had to leave-leave. He also couldn't help thinking “Oh! I knew a Vicki once!”
But he could relate to her—she said: “She [Vicki] loved him [Shawn]. She completely adored him; spent all day long talking about him…”
“Is this… going anywhere?” questioned the Doctor.
“Yes!” said Martha desperately.
It was all the Doctor could to just fold his arms, stand up straight and listen. He had plenty of stupid, talkative companions. Even though Martha had proved herself to be one of the first companions he had with independence, intellect, and strength rolled into one very small human, he was sure that even the amazing Martha Jones, world saviour and heroine could have a rant.
But she wasn’t ranting; she was explaining in a very human why she couldn’t go with him.
“He never looked at her twice…" she finally said, still smiling. "I mean, he liked her but that was it. And she wasted years pining over him because while he was there she never looked at anyone else…”
So this was Martha’s real reason for leaving—not that the parent thing wasn’t true—but she wanted to save herself. For a brief moment the Doctor felt sorry for her, almost guilty. She wasn't the first companion to express affection for him. His companions were like pet dogs. Like a dog loves its master the companions love their Doctor. And that would have been the end of the Doctor's thoughts - but then Martha said something that made him think:
“And I said to her” she explained “I always said to her time and time again: get out!”
And all of a sudden, the Doctor saw himself in the story of Martha had told. The only difference was that it was the other way around. He was pining after someone. He was living in the past. He was longing for something that would never come. He was slowing down his life because of it.
He wasn't pining for Rose; nor Peri, Romana, Sarah-Jane, or Jo. In fact, he wasn't pining for any of his companions. To him his companions were to fill a completely different gap, need in his life, one that he couldn’t bear to keep empty. That was the lack on one person: his granddaughter, Susan.
His desire to have a companion travelling with him came from his wish to have someone to look after and look up to him. It came from his yearning for Susan to walk around the corner and rejoin him. But she never did. It was never her who came around the corner. It was Rose. It was Grace. It was all of them: Ace, Mel, Peri, Romana, Leela, Sarah-Jane, Jo, Liz, Victoria, Zoe, Polly, Dodo, and Vicki… all of them… even the boys he loved as grandsons.
No, he pined over someone he lost many, many, many years ago; centuries ago, before the Time War, before he even left Gallifrey… back when he was just a run of the mill troublesome Time Lord with crazy ideas. Back in the days when he was a family man, when he had children, (Before Susan was born obviously), and before most things happened in his life.
In fact, the loss of this person was the first of his troubles. his partner and his wife and his mate… whatever you wanted to call it. He had first met her at home on Gallifrey and loved her on sight. And he had really, deeply loved her; completely adored her and spent all day talking about her. She loved him too—but she died young, quite unexpectedly, despite being a Time Lady.
After she died, she wasn’t there to love him anymore but he didn’t care, because he still loved her and didn’t look at any other female creature twice. None of the Time Ladies and certainly not the humans. I mean he liked them, it took time but he grew to like humans very much... but have you ever been licked all over your face by a dog?
Yes, he liked them but that was it.
And that was what touched him in that special way in Martha’s words—how she had told her friend, who had wasted years of her life, she had told her time and time again: get out!
The Doctor wondered if someone had told him to get out he would have; he doubted it but it might have pushed him down the right path. After all he has waste centuries pining over his lost partner because even after she was gone he didn’t look at anyone else.
Martha had touched it with a needle; she had touched the routes of his soul. And he wondered, as she finally walked off, what category she would be put into when it came to companions. She was far too intelligent to be a pet, and she had saved his life too many times to be a granddaughter—now that he thought about it, the Doctor realised she had probably saved him more times then he had her!
Yes, she’d get a whole new section. Just for her—"partner-in-crime", maybe.
It was too bad! It had been centuries and the Doctor didn’t know if he wanted to move on from the memory of his dear departed spouse. The loss of his family was enough to stop him moving on now. Stop him from settling down and having more kids. He did that when he was meant to. The Doctor could tell that Martha understood that better then any of his companions did.
They were merely infatuated; Martha was truly in love with him, would do anything for him, and saved the world for him. The tragic thing was that had someone told him before to ‘get out’ he might have considered moving on with someone like her, even if she was a human.
After all, she was a very attractive woman, probably.
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annoyed
accomplished
indescribable
calm
creative
discontent
sore
